More Breaking news on the Bixler Campaign

As I think I promised at 12:40 in the morning, now that I'm awake, worked, and had some caffeine, here's the views and platform of Mr. Thomas Bixler who announced to me late last night that he was running for Congress against Congresswoman Herseth.
Thomas Bixler for Congress-2006

Thomas Bixler For Congress Campaign Candidacy Message

I am Thomas Bixler, of Yankton, and I am pleased to announce that as of today, January 1, 2006, I am a candidate to be your next United States Representative. As a new year approaches, our great state of South Dakota and the United States are faced with new challenges, such as keeping our schools open and profitable, our nation safe, and people living in our state and our country. No matter which incumbent or other candidates I face, my campaign will be an honest one with respect to all involved. Now, let me tell you some things about myself:

About The Candidate

Name: Thomas James Bixler

Age: 24 (25 by Election Day)

Birth Date and Place: October 3, 1981, in Viborg, South Dakota

Current Address: 3000 Douglas Ave-Apt. 114, Yankton, SD 57078

E-Mail Address: or

Residency Status: I am a lifelong South Dakotan; I have been a Yankton County resident for the past sixteen years.

Family: Mother: Barbara, Father: Paul, Sister: Sarah, Brother: Matthew

Education: High School Graduate

Occupation: Glyconutrients Salesman

Political Affiliation: Republican

Political Experience: Member-Yankton County Republicans, Member-City of Yankton Park Advisory Board, Member of Toastmasters International

Why Am I Running: I am running for Congress because based on my own experience with a disability, I think the hard working middle class needs a voice in Washington that stands for its needs.


National Spending: I stand for moderate spending that must be devoted to higher wages for workers. I also would propose a bill to limit federal spending to within one sum that cannot be increased unless absolutely necessary.

Education: Children should learn on certain grade levels based on personal intellect, therefore we should have mandatory intelligence testing for all students.

Also, we should have more opportunities for disabled students and hire more teachers to teach them, especially one on one. To do this, college education graduates should be offered a five thousand dollar salary increase to teach.

Taxes: I stand for low property taxes and would support bills that call for the lowest taxes possible.

Iraq: I support our troops in Iraq despite my personal feelings that we should be out of the country if we are not welcome. I would also call for enlistment bonuses for new solders.

Abortion: I am staunchly pro-life and do not support abortion unless there is proof that the female was raped.

Final note: Let me make clear that my Congress campaign is devoted most to the middle class and education. If elected, I will always fight for the middle class in Washington.

Thank you,

Thomas Bixler
Republican Candidate for Congress-2006
Agree with them or not, Thomas certainly expresses some interesting views. And you can't fault him for his enthusiasm. I've asked him to participate in a 10 question session to probe his thoughts behind his candidacy a bit further, so that should be interesting. Hopefully we'll see that in the near future. And maybe in the meantime, I can figure out what glyconutrients are.

And the campaign season rolls on.


Anonymous said…
Is this guy serious?
PP said…
He says he is. Far be it from me to cast dispersions.
PP said…
And can anyone enlighten me on what a glyconutrients salesman is selling?
Anonymous said…
I believe that glyconutrients are a type of vitamin and supplements.
Anonymous said…
I wonder how often a campaign begins and ends on the same day?
Anonymous said…
I think you mean "cast aspersion."
Anonymous said…

I'd like to ask you a question which you may be reluctant to answer. But here goes:

If you had to vote today, for either Herseth or Bixler, based on what you know right now, who would you vote for?

This is purely hypothetical.
Anonymous said…
That's a cop out PP. And offensive. You don't have anything to actually criticize so you choose to belittle. Is this the image of your party you choose to portray? Thoughtless and crass? And I thought you were trying to provide enlightened political commentary. I guess not.
PP said…
Oh for gosh sakes.

Apparently anonymous left his or her sense of humor at the Door.

NVC can talk about fornicating lions in impolite language. BOJ, whom I thought might be a DEM, comes up with the photo as one in a hilarious series. And I'm the bad guy because I link to it?

But to be serious, Anonymous, you're asking me to make a judgement on the basis of a single press release. That's like asking me if the Congresswoman can be president on the basis of a single term.

The logical answer in either case? I have no idea.

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