All I have to say is that it had better be a damn good dog.

House Bill 1178 has now been introduced, and civilization is officially saved. What is this gem of a legislative measure which should captivate us all?
An Act to provide for the establishment of certain honorary trusts and of certain trusts for animals.
You have got to be kidding me.

The worst part is that there are legislators I respect co-sponsoring the bill. We're codifying law for the benefit of a dog? We're spending how much time on making sure a cat can live in comfort for the rest of its days?

Maybe I should form a new business. South Dakota Shady Acres Pet Retirement Center.

I'll take in these trust-fund Tabbys and financially endowed Dobermans with promises of luxury care. And then I'll make them sleep on sub-standard pet beds. The trustees will pay for steak, but Rover's going to get chuck roast. The cat patrons will pay for Tuna, but Morris the cat is getting... carp. (Insert evil laugh here).

At this point, I've already wasted more time than the measure deserves. What's the remedy for the situation? I think I'll just agree to disagree with those supporting the bill. And I'll also suggest they amend it to exclude cats.


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